Monday, April 13, 2015

☁ When It Rains....It Hails.....☔ (An Uber Mega Long Picture Post Story by Hannabal Marie!)

(Click the link to read the full post. It's really big, hence the page break. To your health!)

Hello ladies and gentlefish
the other day, it rained....It rained cats and dogs and itty bitty pieces of Satan's balls. 
...I wish I was joking, but I'm not. 
It literally hailed like the world was gonna end, with thunder and lightening and bears...oh my!

The day, oddly enough, didn't start out with any sign that it was going to be like this other than some overcast that, sadly, ain't uncommon around this time of year.

Like I said, normal. As normal as it could have gotten on any given day. 
Such beautiful weather should NOT be taken for granted, so I did what any reasonable adult would do on such a lovely day as this....
I played blanket fort with my dogs....

...Because I'm an adult.

Lily didn't really like it much....

 ...Because all her attention was on my bag of jelly beans. f*cking cow.

 No Lily! No jelly beans for you! 

Anywho, back to the story...
Normal day, Normal activities. Nothing unusual...
...until I saw this f*cking pr!ck on my neighbors roof...
Please note, folks...this is Jeremiah, My Crow friend. 
He is my bestie BUT he ONLY ever pops up when shit starts to hit bricks...
or when he knows we got bologna around...
mostly the first reason though, as you will all soon find out.

Okay, I can exaggerate a bit. I didn't really jump to any harsh conclusions until...
 He brought his damn girlfriend into this shit. 
Now I was pretty off my damn rocker.

 I should have known, there are only two reasons they would be bugging me at this moment....
1. They want more damn bologna. 
2. It's an evil omen for what was going to happen.

I was too damn naive, I believe option number one.
 I thought he wanted bologna. So I gave him some. 
Despite his evil intentions for changing the damn weather, he took the f*cking bologna just the damn same. Fatty.

So...we continue this fun game of "I-am-crow-you-give-me-food" for a while. 
Until I notice my cat boyfriend eyeballing me from across the damn yard...
 Sexy sultry stare, right? WRONG!

 Cute kitty sleeping on my curb, right? WRONG-O!
I see a cat seeking revenge on my rendezvous with the raven!

How this is even apart of this story, I dunno. But it enjoy it just the same.

Anywho, after I was done feeding the birdy. 
I went inside and started reading (yet again) one of my latest (oldest) obsessions.
Over some Strawberry Shortcake I made, but instead of the cake...
I ate it with two mini croissants. 
Because that's all I had in the house. HA.

As I was reading and enjoying my treat, 
I noticed that the sky was shifting from daylight to darkness. 
growing dimmer with every second I turned a new page in my book. 
 I don't know which god I upset, but whatever one...surely had it out for me.

 Clouds started to form and shift into big fluffy pillows that I wanted to sleep on.

 Even the little blue birds, who never say a word, knew something was going to happen.

 and then it happened. It started with a crash then a boom which ended in a bang. 

 Just as you are you and I am me...the damn sky started to pour balls down onto my house. 
Little fucking hard balls that almost broke through my damn windows. 

 You just don't understand, folks. 
It wasn't a simple little scatter of hail...
it was like god lost all his betting money on red when he wanted black instead...
so rather than crying his tears out from the clouds, he reeked his vengeance on me with little tiny balls that could take out a damn eye. 

 Stuff was everywhere. News flashed warning signs on every channel. Sirens blazed down the streets from cars slipping on the freeway. Even the damn mail-lady booked it when she was caught in the middle of the downpour of hail. She literally dropped mail all over the place. My mail. I had to go outside and fetch it all up.

I kid you not, every damn channel was setting off those thunder-storm warnings. 
Loud and clear. 
My mother was freaking out about how she thought we were going to have a tornado.

The tornado watches were issued around 1:30 p.m. (or close to)

like I said, we all were a little bit freaked out by the storm...
but don't take MY word for it...

The hail was about a dime size. Or a nickel. I dunno, I'm not good with guessing. Heh.
My brother grabbed a handful to show ya, so I wouldn't have to guesstimate for you all.

Me and my mom grabbed a bucket and went to town...
 Just look at all the iceeeeee......

 It looks so pretty, like a bunch of rolled up crystals.

 How sad. 
This little guy probably was flying through the air when he was plummeted to his death by the downpour of hail.

Ya know how it's like a tradition to play in snow when it's winter....yeah...I thought I should make a tradition to play in hail as well...
Since a snowman is for snow...I tried to make a devil, for hail. 
Get it? ;D HA!

yeah...I failed miserably. But eh. Maybe if you squint your eyes a bit, you'll see it! XD HA!

My babies were scared, as you can only imagine. 

 Poor Georgie, boy! 

 so as the hail did it's grand finale, it just slowed down to a light drizzle with the occasional thunder roar....
 but, of course, the rain had something to prove now that the Hail was here....
So rain and thunder had to bring it to an extreme as well....

But as is custom for all rain, it goes out as fast as it came.
It, too, slowed down to a drizzle again....
So before we all knew it...
The sun was breaking through the clouds...smiling at us...
Damn you sun, you eager little bastard. 

 look at him, all shiny and shit...
f*ck you sun, where the hell were you while we had to deal with all that craziness? huh?
yeah...I thought so!

 This is Popper...
I call him that because he pops around my fence like he owns that damn place.

See what I mean?!

If you don't...have a video clip of him in action....
Damn you, Popper!

 Popper, after he was done being a little arsehole, decided to play camouflage inside my tree where I just left him to think of all the things he did wrong today! 
Shame on you Popper. 
With your popping feet of doom!
See? He blends right in! 

 Moon decided to show up late to the party, as is usual. 

 Clouds looking as cloudy as they usually are.

 The house next door isn't occupied and hasn't been for a while. 
Our landlord doesn't want people around the vacant place nor does he even care about doing so himself, so he just lets the backyard of that house go crazy. 
This is but ONE of many trees that have gotten a bit overgrown. 

I try my best to pick and use as much of them as possible but eh...well...I use lots of 'em and I shouldn't be complaining. So I won't. I'd hate to live next door to a bunch of meanies who keep all the roses to themselves and give me none. Hah.

anyways, crazy backyard...crazy me...we compliment each other! :D

 Roses and lemons. :3 <3

 The sun is setting down over this place.

Getting pretty dark. 
The mosquito's will be biting soon. 
I'm outta here!

 Georgie is still pretty pissed off by all of this. 
Like it was my fault or some shit. 

anywho, that was that crazy day.
Thought some of you would like to see...
also thought it would be cool to document as some sort of weird diary entry...
so when I get old and lonely, I could pop back onto my webpage and see the fun shenanigans I used to be apart of.

I ended the night soaking in a nice bath with some of those roses I wasn't complaining about....
I thought that these images looked pretty...
too pretty to just delete...
so E-Diary....
enjoy the look of my soaking legs.

 Things always look so unreal when you're under water. 

I dunno. I thought this looked cool, too! XD

Oh, yeah. I was trying to pretend I was Hamlet's Ophelia. 
I always think of her when I see bathwater with rose pedals. 
Heh. I wonder why! :P

anywho, I hope you enjoyed this loooooong post.
It was a rather interesting day, to say the least.

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